I had to console a teen grocery clerk over my divorce. Sorta. Lemme ‘splain:
So I was checking out and the kid was way excited about everything.
The woman in front of me with the cart full of groceries and kids had amassed 160 grocery points and smugly looked at me and said “I guess I’ll be back to get free stuff!” He said “Yeah! Winning!”
Next he picked up my jug of iced tea and sang the “unsweetened iced tea” song. Then he made it dance on the counter and asked if I’d be drinking it with sugar cookies. I laughed and said no, it would have to find the tools to survive solo. He rang up my total and said “You’ve got…. Oh. 15 points.” He made a sad face.
I said “Yeah, I don’t shop that much.” He said “Oh – no shame, no shame.” I was still looking at the receipt and without thinking said “well, when you don’t have a family…”
Silence. I look up and the kid has TEARS in his eyes. On his face. “I’M SO SORRY,” he says.
“No. It’s okay. I’m divorced.”
“Oh. That’s TERRIBLE!”
“What? No – it’s fine. I promise. I just meant that it’s not like I lost my family. We never had kids.”
“No kids?! But it’s Christmas… ”
At this point I feel Iike I broke him.
“Yeah… I have a super cute dog though. I swear. Massive ears. It’s okay. Really. Uhm… Have a great night.” I ran.
I posted this story on Facebook, and some of my friends – well, their responses were fantastic.
You should have just kept going and destroyed him…..SWEEP THE LEG!!!
We do not train to be merciful here – mercy is for the weak!
FINISH HIM!!!!!!!
I love my terrible, awesome, idiot friends.
One Critical Miss 
When I sprained my ankle in October my doctor asked me if I needed a note for my husband to get out of any chores… She had that stricken, awkward look when I explained I didn’t think he had much concern for my chores, since he no longer lived there… Glad you were able to get to the humor. I still have a tough time every time it comes up…
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